Perfect Strength... Perfect Love... Perfect Grace...
In order to give GRACE, love and strength are needed. I think everyone can agree that no one is perfect. Easter is a perfect reminder of this. Christ died for us because we are sinners and are in need of a loving, gracious, merciful God. Through our lives, it is part of our calling as followers of Christ to strive to be more like Him, to experience and begin the process of sanctification.
Six months after my husband left me, he managed to say words to me that stung so bad I lost it. All of the love for him that I had been holding onto and trying to express to him seemed to vanish in an instant. Being left by a husband, in the middle of a pregnancy, the pain of knowing about an affair, hurtful words, and a suicide.... All reasons for me to be bitter and hateful towards God, men, and my life in general. BUT!!! There was a turning point.
After those piercing, false words were said, it just so happened that I heard a sermon about the connection between Love and Faith. With all that I had learned about faith that year (Thanks to Beth Moore and her Bible study Believing God!), everything clicked. I knew immediately what I needed to do. I stopped in my dining room, in front of the window, and cried out to God. "Lord, we hurt you every day and you still love us. My husband has hurt me, deeply. I don't know if I can love him anymore. Please help me to love him the way you love me and all of us who hurt you." The cross flashed before me and the remembrance of what He did for us because He loved us. From that moment on my life changed. I can't explain it! All I know is within 24 hrs. of praying that prayer, I was able to love my husband, to have compassion on him! It was so weird and unlike any kind of love I had ever felt before. Did I love him like a husband? No. Did I love him the way one loves their child? No. Did I love him as a friend? No, not even that! The only way to explain it was that I loved him the best way a human can love in the way that Christ loves us. It was amazing. I began to hurt for him and pray for him... things we all struggle to do for those that hurt us.
Flash forward six and a half years later.... As a single woman, I cannot tell you how many single (and married) women I hear talk negatively about men. "They're men, that's just how it is" "They're all like that" "It's just the way they are" "They all have the same agenda" These statements could go on and on, but you get the point. I beg to differ with all of these statements. Just as you may differ from another woman and you would say you don't act like her, not all men are the same!! Just as a man may make a complete jerk of himself in a relationship, guess what!? If you haven't already, I can almost guarantee that at some point you will make a jerk of yourself... it's called humanity, i.e. human nature. We all say stupid things and do stupid things. You do remember what happens when you "Assume", right? What would happen if you started to look at your neighbor, your spouse, your friend, your boyfriend, your kids through God's eyes??
I want to remind you, for your sake and for the sake of your friendships and any other relationships: our God is the God of Second Chances!!! And the 3rd, and 4th, and 5th, etc.! How many times have you needed a second or maybe even a third chance? Ask God to show you how to love that enemy, the one who has hurt you, the one that irritates you to death, the way that He loves you. Then let Him change you from the inside out. I think the Veggie Tales say it best in the movie Jonah.... watch this video and listen to the words: God of Second Chances
10/16/14
Decisions, Decisions
Starting to wonder what in the world God has planned for me. Sure, having "Dr." in front of my name has a nice ring to it, but me? Really? That means at least 3 more years of dedicated research and writing.... not to mention doing a thesis instead of an internship next semester. Lord, now is a fantastic time to write on the wall of my cubicle just what it is you want me to do! It will take His perfect strength, complete faith in Him, unprecedented focus, and ridiculous drive. Not to mention a move. That, honestly, is the part that is exciting. Wow. Just the thought of all that could take place in the next several years is overwhelming. I know I could do it, but it means I cannot give fear one foot into the door of my mind. This would definitely be one giant worth slaying! Lord knows I feel like I'd be facing it just as David faced his, with only 5 stones.
10/15/14
Perfect Love Part 3
Love is not easily angered. All of us can probably justify why we get angry and when we get angry. But that's not the point. Being angry is ok... if it's for the right reasons. This verse is specifically speaking to how we get angry. Does someone tell you something you don't like and your immediate response is defense and anger? Has someone done something that made you seethe and ready to explode? In order to not be easily angered, it is important to (very quickly) take a step back and consider the other person's perspective. Hear them out. Listen with an open heart and mind. Then, make a decision as to whether the reaction of anger truly is justified and worth the consequences.
Love keeps no record of wrong. Really? I thought that's what all couples did. Store up old painful memories, waiting for the right time to unleash them. Anyone can read that last sentence and know in their mind, that is not love. So how are we supposed to do this? It's called forgiveness. True forgiveness. The first thing most people forget is that forgiveness does not make the other person right, it sets you free. Another important element of forgiveness is that when you forgive someone, it releases you of the right to ever bring up the issue again. Oh yeah that's hard, but the peace true forgiveness will bring you is so worth it. You might need to walk through forgiving someone multiple times before it sticks, and you may not even be able to do it to their face, but through prayer, God can help you to move on and not dwell on the wrongs from the past. (Yes, there are some reasons a person will need to remember a wrong that has been done, but in this context, love does not bring up a wrong in order to harm or hurt someone)
Love does not delight in evil. This is kind of self-explanatory. When you love someone, you should not be glad when they mess up or get in trouble. In addition, love is not going to justify doing wrong.
BUT love rejoices in truth. If it is good and right, true love seeks it and is glad. This kind of love has nothing to hide or justify.
Love always protects. When you love someone, you want to protect them, usually from being hurt. This can clearly be seen in the husband who prepares for the future in ways that will protect his family (financially, physically, spiritually, etc.), and in the mom who stands ready to protect her child from any injustice that may take place at school.
Love always trusts. Trusting can be hard, especially when you've been hurt in the past. But, if you care about someone enough to love them, you should be at a place where you can also trust them. That doesn't mean things don't sometimes need to be explained, or questions can't be asked. When questions are asked with the immediate assumption that something is amiss, that shows lack of trust.
Love always hopes. Hebrews 11:1 is one of my favorite verses, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (KJV). Faith and trust go hand in hand, and this informs us that they begin with hope. Hope gives the idea of expectancy. The opposite of hope is despair. When love begins to lose hope, it falls into a pit that most have a hard time recovering from. A positive attitude, even in tough times, can do wonders, even if it only changes you.
Love always perseveres. Now this is something that is completely ignored by many today. Love is work, hard work sometimes! Godly love tells us we need to push through these hard times, to stand strong and continue to love, even when things look bleak and we may not want to. Sometimes that love changes, but because God tells us to love one another (John 13:34), it should never leave. When my husband and I were separated, my love moved from a spouse-type love to a love that was based on how God would want me to love someone who had hurt me deeply. I had to ask God to show me how to love this way because it was foreign to me. It shouldn't have been, and I am so glad that within 48 hours God answered my prayer and I began to have compassion for the man who had chosen his path away from us.
Love never fails. This brings us back to the beginning. As humans, we can do our best to not fail or hurt those we love, but we are guaranteed to feel each other at one time or another. Only God's love will truly never fail us. If you are looking for that type of love, look no further. All you need is God. He is truly amazing, trustworthy, gracious, forgiving, loving, merciful, compassionate, kind, thoughtful, funny, the list is endless! Embrace His love.
In closing, there are many different types of love: the love for a friend, a spouse, a child, your mom, dad, siblings. All of these attributes can be expressed through these types. Take the thoughts and incorporate them into the relationships you have. Love well :)
Love keeps no record of wrong. Really? I thought that's what all couples did. Store up old painful memories, waiting for the right time to unleash them. Anyone can read that last sentence and know in their mind, that is not love. So how are we supposed to do this? It's called forgiveness. True forgiveness. The first thing most people forget is that forgiveness does not make the other person right, it sets you free. Another important element of forgiveness is that when you forgive someone, it releases you of the right to ever bring up the issue again. Oh yeah that's hard, but the peace true forgiveness will bring you is so worth it. You might need to walk through forgiving someone multiple times before it sticks, and you may not even be able to do it to their face, but through prayer, God can help you to move on and not dwell on the wrongs from the past. (Yes, there are some reasons a person will need to remember a wrong that has been done, but in this context, love does not bring up a wrong in order to harm or hurt someone)
Love does not delight in evil. This is kind of self-explanatory. When you love someone, you should not be glad when they mess up or get in trouble. In addition, love is not going to justify doing wrong.
BUT love rejoices in truth. If it is good and right, true love seeks it and is glad. This kind of love has nothing to hide or justify.
Love always protects. When you love someone, you want to protect them, usually from being hurt. This can clearly be seen in the husband who prepares for the future in ways that will protect his family (financially, physically, spiritually, etc.), and in the mom who stands ready to protect her child from any injustice that may take place at school.
Love always trusts. Trusting can be hard, especially when you've been hurt in the past. But, if you care about someone enough to love them, you should be at a place where you can also trust them. That doesn't mean things don't sometimes need to be explained, or questions can't be asked. When questions are asked with the immediate assumption that something is amiss, that shows lack of trust.
Love always hopes. Hebrews 11:1 is one of my favorite verses, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (KJV). Faith and trust go hand in hand, and this informs us that they begin with hope. Hope gives the idea of expectancy. The opposite of hope is despair. When love begins to lose hope, it falls into a pit that most have a hard time recovering from. A positive attitude, even in tough times, can do wonders, even if it only changes you.
Love always perseveres. Now this is something that is completely ignored by many today. Love is work, hard work sometimes! Godly love tells us we need to push through these hard times, to stand strong and continue to love, even when things look bleak and we may not want to. Sometimes that love changes, but because God tells us to love one another (John 13:34), it should never leave. When my husband and I were separated, my love moved from a spouse-type love to a love that was based on how God would want me to love someone who had hurt me deeply. I had to ask God to show me how to love this way because it was foreign to me. It shouldn't have been, and I am so glad that within 48 hours God answered my prayer and I began to have compassion for the man who had chosen his path away from us.
Love never fails. This brings us back to the beginning. As humans, we can do our best to not fail or hurt those we love, but we are guaranteed to feel each other at one time or another. Only God's love will truly never fail us. If you are looking for that type of love, look no further. All you need is God. He is truly amazing, trustworthy, gracious, forgiving, loving, merciful, compassionate, kind, thoughtful, funny, the list is endless! Embrace His love.
In closing, there are many different types of love: the love for a friend, a spouse, a child, your mom, dad, siblings. All of these attributes can be expressed through these types. Take the thoughts and incorporate them into the relationships you have. Love well :)
9/16/14
Perfect Love Part 2
Ahhh... Perfect Love. Yes. It can exist. Will we ever be able to truly fully match up? Maybe not. We are human of course. But knowing where to begin is a start. So, here we go....
Love is Kind. At this point, I think there is a pretty good reason for patience being listed first. Patience is probably the basis for all subsequent attributes! Kindness is easy... until it's not. Just watch a group of kids at the park. How long does being kind last? Are they all being kind? Yeah, probably not, and those who are being kind? Give it a minute. Someone will come take their toy and it is on! Kindness takes work and a lot of thinking before we act.
Love Does Not Envy. This may be a difficult one to dissect. Envy is a type of selfish jealousy... wanting what someone else has to a point of anger or hate. Though not something I've personally struggled with, I have seen how this sort of thing can begin. Envy is not something you want to mess with. Proverbs 14:30 specifically says, "Envy makes the bones rot" (ESV). Um, no thanks. Be happy with what God has given you and be happy for what God has given to others.
Love Does Not Boast. When a person is boasting, they are centered on self. Love should be the opposite... focused on the one being loved.
Love Is Not Proud. What is the opposite of pride? Humility. Again, one who is proud is focused on self. A humble person is more apt to show respect and esteem the one they love above themselves.
Love Does Not Dishonor. Here's a good one (not that the others aren't). In order to understand this attribute, one needs to look no further than the military and someone who has been given a dishonorable discharge. Dishonor brings disgrace and shame to a person. I can't imagine ever intentionally dishonoring any part of my family, and yet, I have seen it happen more than I care to count. Wives dishonoring their husbands and husbands dishonoring their wives. Dishonor is hurtful and lasting. It can leave a bitter taste in the relationship for a long time. Love does not dishonor, it brings honor.
Love Is Not Self-Seeking. Another attribute clearly concerned with the problem of selfishness. If I were to make an assumption, it would be that next to patience, an attitude of selflessness is the most important attribute to exhibit to those you love. The reason you cook a meal, the reason you clean the house, the reason you buy her flowers, the reason you do anything should not be to receive something in return. Love gives, expecting nothing in return. Would we like something in return? A thank you? Guys, sex? Girls, attention? Sure! But to be able to give freely without expecting anything in return is truly loving that person. Hard, but doable.
To be continued.....
Love is Kind. At this point, I think there is a pretty good reason for patience being listed first. Patience is probably the basis for all subsequent attributes! Kindness is easy... until it's not. Just watch a group of kids at the park. How long does being kind last? Are they all being kind? Yeah, probably not, and those who are being kind? Give it a minute. Someone will come take their toy and it is on! Kindness takes work and a lot of thinking before we act.
Love Does Not Envy. This may be a difficult one to dissect. Envy is a type of selfish jealousy... wanting what someone else has to a point of anger or hate. Though not something I've personally struggled with, I have seen how this sort of thing can begin. Envy is not something you want to mess with. Proverbs 14:30 specifically says, "Envy makes the bones rot" (ESV). Um, no thanks. Be happy with what God has given you and be happy for what God has given to others.
Love Does Not Boast. When a person is boasting, they are centered on self. Love should be the opposite... focused on the one being loved.
Love Is Not Proud. What is the opposite of pride? Humility. Again, one who is proud is focused on self. A humble person is more apt to show respect and esteem the one they love above themselves.
Love Does Not Dishonor. Here's a good one (not that the others aren't). In order to understand this attribute, one needs to look no further than the military and someone who has been given a dishonorable discharge. Dishonor brings disgrace and shame to a person. I can't imagine ever intentionally dishonoring any part of my family, and yet, I have seen it happen more than I care to count. Wives dishonoring their husbands and husbands dishonoring their wives. Dishonor is hurtful and lasting. It can leave a bitter taste in the relationship for a long time. Love does not dishonor, it brings honor.
Love Is Not Self-Seeking. Another attribute clearly concerned with the problem of selfishness. If I were to make an assumption, it would be that next to patience, an attitude of selflessness is the most important attribute to exhibit to those you love. The reason you cook a meal, the reason you clean the house, the reason you buy her flowers, the reason you do anything should not be to receive something in return. Love gives, expecting nothing in return. Would we like something in return? A thank you? Guys, sex? Girls, attention? Sure! But to be able to give freely without expecting anything in return is truly loving that person. Hard, but doable.
To be continued.....
9/15/14
Perfect Love
Perfect Love. That sounds so fairy tale-ish. Is it even possible to experience such a thing? And if so, what does it look like? Feel like? Sound like? I Corinthians 13:4-8a is the best source we have to know what love, real love, looks like. Let's dig into this one attribute at a time:
Love is PATIENT - This can sometimes be an epic fail for me. In this world of having everything at my fingertips, questions answered by google in seconds, and the feeling that I need to act on everything immediately, I so easily transfer all of that expectancy and pressure onto the ones I love most... more specifically, my significant other. First of all it is not fair for me to do that and secondly, that's not love. Though I have found when I am patient things tend to work out wonderfully, if I have to wait a little longer than I expected, watch out! I get upset, frustrated, antsy, pushy, mouthy, annoying, you name it. None of those qualities tell my man "I Love You", in fact they probably scream the opposite. Ouch. That's not what I want at all, and yet that's what I'm doing. And let's get real about this, how often do I hope he is patient with me? Hmm?? Plenty. Being patient out of love is not something that is going to happen over night, but I am working on it, and I am already feeling better. Letting go of the control I think I have and trusting God, ultimately, for the answers and the outcomes. I once read, patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind (author unknown). God's plans are higher than mine and His timing is ALWAYS perfect :) Plus, the best things in life are worth waiting for, right!?
Love is PATIENT - This can sometimes be an epic fail for me. In this world of having everything at my fingertips, questions answered by google in seconds, and the feeling that I need to act on everything immediately, I so easily transfer all of that expectancy and pressure onto the ones I love most... more specifically, my significant other. First of all it is not fair for me to do that and secondly, that's not love. Though I have found when I am patient things tend to work out wonderfully, if I have to wait a little longer than I expected, watch out! I get upset, frustrated, antsy, pushy, mouthy, annoying, you name it. None of those qualities tell my man "I Love You", in fact they probably scream the opposite. Ouch. That's not what I want at all, and yet that's what I'm doing. And let's get real about this, how often do I hope he is patient with me? Hmm?? Plenty. Being patient out of love is not something that is going to happen over night, but I am working on it, and I am already feeling better. Letting go of the control I think I have and trusting God, ultimately, for the answers and the outcomes. I once read, patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind (author unknown). God's plans are higher than mine and His timing is ALWAYS perfect :) Plus, the best things in life are worth waiting for, right!?
9/5/14
Running Strength
"Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing" (I Cor. 9:24-26, NLT).
Wow! There is so much in just those 3 verses! I am not a runner, but I participate in sports where running is very important. If I'm playing softball, I better be able to beat a thrown ball as I run to my intended base. If I'm playing soccer, I better be able to beat the other team to the ball. In each of these instances, I am running to accomplish something that by the same time tomorrow will be long forgotten. Even if it happens to be an epic play, good or bad, the memory of it will eventually fade.
Running takes strength, not just endurance or speed. In order to move from where I am, my muscles need to fire in a way that will produce a powerful take-off and the desired end effect. If I ask any random person on the street what muscles or body parts would be key in helping a runner to succeed, the immediate answer would almost assuredly be something to do with one's legs. Common sense, right? But that's not where the force lies. It lies in the glutes. Your butt. Another interesting running fact? You will only be able to run as fast as your arms allow you. Now that's something to think about! How is that possible? Running encompasses muscles of the entire body, each of them working together to promote perfect running strength. Without one or two of these muscles being strong, you may still be able to be a good runner, but greatness comes when everything is tied together and used to the best of its ability.
What element do you need to add to your workout today, or even your life, so that you can 'run' to the best of your ability? Then, do something today that will count for eternity. Invest in someone's life, encourage your co-worker, live with purpose :)
Wow! There is so much in just those 3 verses! I am not a runner, but I participate in sports where running is very important. If I'm playing softball, I better be able to beat a thrown ball as I run to my intended base. If I'm playing soccer, I better be able to beat the other team to the ball. In each of these instances, I am running to accomplish something that by the same time tomorrow will be long forgotten. Even if it happens to be an epic play, good or bad, the memory of it will eventually fade.
Running takes strength, not just endurance or speed. In order to move from where I am, my muscles need to fire in a way that will produce a powerful take-off and the desired end effect. If I ask any random person on the street what muscles or body parts would be key in helping a runner to succeed, the immediate answer would almost assuredly be something to do with one's legs. Common sense, right? But that's not where the force lies. It lies in the glutes. Your butt. Another interesting running fact? You will only be able to run as fast as your arms allow you. Now that's something to think about! How is that possible? Running encompasses muscles of the entire body, each of them working together to promote perfect running strength. Without one or two of these muscles being strong, you may still be able to be a good runner, but greatness comes when everything is tied together and used to the best of its ability.
What element do you need to add to your workout today, or even your life, so that you can 'run' to the best of your ability? Then, do something today that will count for eternity. Invest in someone's life, encourage your co-worker, live with purpose :)
9/2/14
What is your default setting?
Ever have a defining moment? That keeps showing up!? You know, the one that you get, you are aware of, you know how to approach, and yet when all is said and done, you just can't seem to get it right. Yeah, that one. To be quite frank, it's frustrating. I've read the books and prayed the prayers. In my heart, I know I am a better woman now than who I was then, but for some reason, that is not what is coming across. Why? Why is it that there are things that God has to keep showing me over, and over.... and over again? As a general rule of thumb, I am very much a listen and learn person. I prefer to heed good advice and stay out of trouble. Living and learning may be fun (sometimes), but I personally don't like the trouble it has the potential to bring. But here I sit, once again facing a situation where I keep having to learn the same lesson.
There's good news though! A few months ago, it hit me. I found out the 'why'. Well, maybe I already knew the 'why', but I found out the depth of the 'why'. God initially showed me the 'why' when I was a freshman in college. Ever so often, He has had to knock me on the head and remind me again. This time though, the answer to the reason why I kept repeating the same mistake seemed deeper. In short, not only my focus, but also my expectations were being diverted from God to something else. That is what our natural mind does all on its own. Our focus has a default setting and that is 'man', not God. This is a daily battle for me. Who do I trust for the outcomes, God or man? Who do I expect to meet my needs, God or man? Who do I look to for direction and purpose, God or man? God has been my light sooo many times before, so why is it that in this one area of my life, I can't seem to change the default setting? It is frustrating. It hurts... me and those I love. It has cost too many tears. Today I will choose to trust God for what is to come, to lean on Him for my needs, the ones no one can supply but Him. God's Word tells us to deny ourselves and to pick up our cross daily. I don't know about you, but denying myself is not what I want to do, and I sure don't what to carry a heavy cross! This is something I have to fight daily, but I know that with His strength, His perfect strength, the load of this cross will get lighter.
There's good news though! A few months ago, it hit me. I found out the 'why'. Well, maybe I already knew the 'why', but I found out the depth of the 'why'. God initially showed me the 'why' when I was a freshman in college. Ever so often, He has had to knock me on the head and remind me again. This time though, the answer to the reason why I kept repeating the same mistake seemed deeper. In short, not only my focus, but also my expectations were being diverted from God to something else. That is what our natural mind does all on its own. Our focus has a default setting and that is 'man', not God. This is a daily battle for me. Who do I trust for the outcomes, God or man? Who do I expect to meet my needs, God or man? Who do I look to for direction and purpose, God or man? God has been my light sooo many times before, so why is it that in this one area of my life, I can't seem to change the default setting? It is frustrating. It hurts... me and those I love. It has cost too many tears. Today I will choose to trust God for what is to come, to lean on Him for my needs, the ones no one can supply but Him. God's Word tells us to deny ourselves and to pick up our cross daily. I don't know about you, but denying myself is not what I want to do, and I sure don't what to carry a heavy cross! This is something I have to fight daily, but I know that with His strength, His perfect strength, the load of this cross will get lighter.
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