Life's Bridge

Today I want to take time to revisit a discussion that was had at my home with several of my girlfriends almost a year ago.  We were talking about things that were going on in our lives: good, bad, scary, exciting, a conversation that would allow us to be open and share and receive good, honest feedback from people we truly care about.  Towards the end of the night, we were throwing around the possibility of turning the final part of the discussion into some sort of devotion.  Well, the thought has never left my mind and here goes!  Those of you who remember, it may not be word for word, but I will try to do it justice!
Many people liken life as unto a roller coaster... on top of things one day and down in the dumps the next.  I want to throw you a different way of looking at life.  Have you ever seen, in person or in a picture, a suspended bridge that stretches over a broad chasm?  They look pretty scary if you ask me!  Made of line and wood, with plenty of space between each step.  Now, imagine that at one end of the bridge is the beginning of life and at the other end is the final breath.  Throughout life one is constantly making decisions.  Some decisions move you forward and some take us back.  Then there are some decisions that we absolutely refuse to make.  I want you to picture this bridge.  Let's say that you have made your way down this bridge and you find that in front of you there are no more steps to take; you've hit the proverbial brick wall.  Now, I am a believer that my God will order my steps, He will show me the way, He will never give me more than I can handle, and that His Word is a light to my path.  As God places choices in front of you, it is your free will that allows you to make the choice.  So, let's say that your next wooden step is a choice God wants you to take.  Every step is a leap of faith, trust that the step is the right one.  Many times the best choice, the choice that moves us forward, is the hardest step to take.  You don't know what is on the other side of that step.  It's scary.  It's the unknown. It's out of our comfort zone.  BUT, if we just take a deep breath, follow our heart and God's leading, we will be blessed beyond measure.  There are occasions in life where we are forced upon this next step, against our will, against everything we ever wanted or dreamed of.  It is in these moments that we cannot forget that God knows what's best for us.  He knows what it is going to take to make us grow, to teach us, to mold us.  We must, especially in these times, stay on our knees, hold our head high and trust in the One who knit you in your mother's womb.  He promises to never leave you or forsake you.  My desire is to live a full life.  If I never have the courage to move onto the step that God has placed in front of me, I will remain stagnant and complacent.  I don't know about you, but that is not the life I want to lead or to demonstrate for my kids.  Today, make the choice to be brave and take the step of faith!

The Waiting

Hurry up and wait.... The well known military anthem can be handed down to the average civilian when waiting on God to show them the answers to each where, when, and why question that interrupts life.  Waiting can seem like an eternity, especially when that waiting is on something they yearn for.  The waiting is undoubtedly a place where we can learn incredible lessons from God and, therefore, as much as we may hate the waiting, it holds an extremely important place in God's plan for our lives.  The waiting period gives us time to think, to review, to objectively look at things we were too close to before.  It can force a quiet time in our lives where before, there was no time to breathe, much less think.  "Be still and know that I AM GOD." Ps. 46:10 is one of the hardest things to do in this day and age of technology and just plain busyness, yet one of the most important things we must do.  In my current period of waiting, God has shown me a lot.  He has shown me what I need is more important than what I want, but He also gives us the desire of our hearts.  He has reminded me that fear is not from Him and that the men of faith had to let go of fear and say yes to God in order for something great to be accomplished.  He has also given me an even better relationship with my kids.  He has decreased my stress levels.  And the list goes on.  Yes, I still have questions.  Yes, there are still things I don't understand surrounding my circumstances.  BUT, my God is amazing!  HE DOES have great plans for me!  In the meantime, I will wait on the Lord and He will renew my strength.        

Francesca Battistelli - Listen To "Worth It"

Summer Fun

It's been a while since I posted, and with good reason.  I am literally in the middle of my internship at Liberty University.  This week I am half way through my 400 required hours!  Can you hear me shouting!!!!!? Haha!  Nine to eleven hours a day, four days a week, has taken its toll on this mama!  I am very blessed to have an incredible nanny watching my kids this summer AND keeping my house clean and laundry done.  She is so good with the kids and they love her.  They are disappointed now when they don't have her!  It used to be that they were disappointed I wasn't there!  Oh well.... I know they love me!  I know this because they have told her that I cook better! Love it! - Ok, back to work!

Not in a millllllion years..... Ever said that!?

Don't you love it when you say you will never do something, just to end up doing it?  Maybe you never thought you'd say things your mother said, or treat your kids the way you were treated, or maybe you even said you wouldn't do something and realllllly meant it, but when the opportunity presented itself, somehow things just happened.  Sometimes these are decisions we regret and other times they are blessings in disguise.
Well, believe it or not, about 3 weeks ago I did something I said I would never do.  Yep, that's right, I joined an online dating site.  What was I thinking?  Oh yeah, peer pressure!  And you know who you are! :)  So, here's to finding out if doing something I said I'd never do is a decision I'll be glad I made or one that I will chalk up to being a silly, hopeless romantic :)
What leap of faith are you putting off in your life?  What are you doing that you wish you weren't?  Most of us have answers to both of these questions and today is a good day to think about how you plan on addressing each one!  With God, ALL things are possible!

Issues? Me?

Don't you love it when something strikes you out of the blue and screams in your face..... "YOU'RE NOT AS THROUGH WITH THIS AS YOU THINK!"  Friday, the 25th, I shared a bit about what my March looked like 3 years ago.  Rejection was the theme of that time in my life.  There is nothing like being rejected by a husband you love so much and would do anything for.  As a rule, I usually don't dwell on rejection in circumstances and don't even give rejection a second thought as to why someone may not be speaking to me.  However, there was an incident this week that God used to open my eyes.  After Bible study and coming home to think about it, it hit me like a ton of bricks..... it was my past that had influenced my actions.  It's hard to sometimes to know why we do things, but I now know why I did what I did and that's the most important thing.  I was feeling rejected in a time when I so greatly needed to feel validated as a friend.  God knew exactly what I needed to hear in order to get me out of my March validation funk.  I do not need to be validated by men or women of any sort.  God is my Abba, it is what He thinks of me alone that matters.  Psalm 139 is the scripture reference I had inscribed on my daughters grace* stone.  There were toooooo many good verses in that chapter to pick one.  It is an incredible passage about God and His care for us.  Verse 17 states: "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!"  WoW!  Do you know how hard it is to have continuous good thoughts toward someone!? He never tires of thinking good thoughts towards us!  He made us!  He loves us!  We are His!  And by his grace we can be called children of God. Thank you, Lord, for loving me! 
This is so easy to speak about... looking solely to God for our validation and significance, yet it is what we are supposed to do.  It truly takes daily practice to seek God, but He promises that if we seek him, we will find Him.  Go look for Him today  :) 
*Upon proof-reading this, I realized I had written grace in lieu of grave.  I left it because I don't think that was a mistake.  Lily is a wonderful reminder of God's grace.  It is perfect and right there exactly when we need it.

Three Years

Three years ago, at about this time, I found out that the little one I was carrying was no longer living.  It was at my 18-wk ultrasound and 2 days after my husband officially walked out on us.  My life was being turned upside down, right in front of my eyes.  I chose to have her instead of having a DNC and it was one of the best decisions I ever made.  My mom got on a plane for the very first time so that she could be with me as I began to walk this road I had been detoured to.  Although it was a sad day, God gave me the strength I needed and I got to hold my precious little baby girl on March 29.  There was no life in her, but God gave me His eyes to see her as beautiful as He saw her.  It was a bittersweet moment in the midst of the chaos surrounding me.  This is not where everything began, but this is where God started to comfort me in the beginning of my single-mom life.